Same-Sex Families in the Classroom

I was going to put this in my Weekly Political Update, but decided it deserved a post of its own:

Officials from the Lexington, Massachusetts school district asked a federal judge to dismiss the lawsuit of two couples who claim their parental rights were violated when books depicting same-sex families were discussed in their children’s elementary-school classrooms. The parents “want to be able to remove their young children from classrooms when homosexuality or gay marriage is being discussed.” A similar situation has arisen in New Jersey. As Queerty said, however:

When parents send their kids to – gulp – public school, they should really expect that the school will teach the state’s moral laws. For example, if you reside in a state in which gay marriage has been granted, i.e. Massachusetts, one should anticipate so-called gay issues coming up in the curriculum.

At some, if not many, points in my child’s education, the curriculum will contain something that contradicts a viewpoint I hold. The solution is not to ban it from being taught, but rather for me to be involved enough—with both the school and my son—that I can use the occasions as opportunities to teach him what I do believe. Wanting to ban something from the curriculum is an admission that I have little faith in my own teaching abilities and influence over my child.

What worries me about cases like this, too, is the ultra-right’s vague (or opportunistic) definition of what constitutes “discussion of homosexuality.” For some, it means discussion of sex (which is not what most of us, LGBT or straight, are asking for, outside of designated sex-education classes at the higher grades). For others, it extends to anything that “promotes the homosexual lifestyle.”

The curriculum is only part of the picture. Even if the syllabus does not officially include same-sex families, children of same-sex families may be in the classroom. Does the far-right want to ban my son from talking about playing baseball with his mommy and momma? Will they bar him from bringing in a rainbow flag for show-and-tell? What about a photo of his family with their arms around each other? What if he attended his moms’ wedding during summer vacation? Is that a forbidden essay topic, or is it allowed as long as he doesn’t read it in front of the class like all of the other children? The argument extends to the many children with opposite-sex parents who may nevertheless have LGBT relatives. Banning “discussion of homosexuality” ultimately means banning many children from talking freely about their families, making them feel censored and segregated, simply because some parents have no faith in their abilities to counteract classroom teachings at home.

Ideally, of course, though perhaps not realistically, I would hope that these parents change their minds about same-sex families so they don’t feel the need to counteract. We are a part of our society now, and society had better learn to deal with us rather than pretending we don’t exist. Kudos to the Lexington School District for arguing that teaching diversity is a “legitimate state interest.”